Crybaby

According to one of my 475 followers this Blog thing is supposed to be a daily thing. Who knew. (Yes,I know there are only actually two people following my blog but 475 sounds way better....so I'm going with that) So I suppose I will have to start taking this "requirement" a little more seriously. With that in mind.....here are a few things I have written on the backs of whatever source of paper I could get my hands on at various times and locations. In the car waiting for someone after practice, in the lobby of the YMCA or doctor's office,etc. Anywhere and everywhere. Some are old, some are new. All are from me. And from time to time I will even throw in one of my poems. Hope you enjoy.........


(written Saturday,November 6,2010 in the lobby of the YMCA waiting for Lily's dance class to end)

I cried. No great revelation or surprise. I cry. It's what I do. I'm a crier. Not at the drop of a hot but certainly more easily and often than I would like.
So-I cried.
I cried for my friend who's son was senselessly shot and killed. I cried for myself because with his death I relived Chloe and Zoe's.
I cried for the woman on Dr. Phil (don't judge me!) who got to openly confront and espew her heart to the cheating coward she was married to. Because I've been there,too..
And then....I cried for myself.
For the goals I haven't achieved.
For the dreams I haven't realized.
For the pain I have endured,the losses I have survived and for the sorrow I carry.
I cried for missing the chance to raise my children who were taken much too soon.
I cried for the years I didn't get to spend with the most amazing grandmother who ever lived.
I cried for the father I will never meet.
I cried for the loss of the life I thought I would have.
And then...I sobbed.
I sobbed for the blessings. Blessings God has given me in spite of my flaws and undeserving soul.
I sobbed for the blessings of having a mother who would and has walked through fire for me.
I sobbed for the blessings of having been given six of the most incredible,amazingly beautiful children a mother could ever ask for.
I sobbed for the blessings of having experienced the all-encompassing unconditional love of a phenomenal man at least once in my life when so many never truly have.
I sobbed for the blessings of being able to stand, walk and experience LIFE on a daily basis.
I sobbed for the blessings of all of my senses being intact so that I am able to fully enjoy the sights,sounds,smells and flavors of this world that so many take for granted.
I sobbed......for the blessings of being......me.